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Pace-Egging Play

The Characters

The Play

Merry Actors (singing)

         (this is the chorus)

Here's two or three jolly boys all in one mind
We've come a-pace-egging and we hope you'll prove kind
We hope you'll prove kind with your eggs and strong beer
We'll come no more nigh you until the next year

Enter Old Toss Pot

Merry Actors (singing)

The first that comes in is Old Toss Pot you see
He's a valiant old fellow in every degree
He's a hump on his back and he wears a pig tail
And all he delights in is drinking mulled ale

------  chorus -------

Old Toss Pot

In comes I a nivver come yet
Wi me girt 'ead and me li'll wit
And if me wit be nivver sae sma'
Me and me pompey'll conquer you all

Merry Actors (singing)

The next that comes in is old Mally Brown Bags
She's so careful of money she goes in old rags
She's gold and she's silver and copper in store
And she's come a-pace-egging and hopes to get more

------  chorus -------

Enter Mally Brown Bags Masket

Mally Brown Bags Masket

In comes I old Mally Masket
Under me arm I carries me basket
In me basket I carries me eggs
In pocket I drops me brass
And I thinks mese'l a jolly old lass

Enter Devil with Horns

Devil with Horns

In comes I Beelzebub
And on my shoulders I carry a club
And in my hand a frying pan
And I think myself a jolly old man

Enter Devilty Doubt with a Hump and a Broom

Devilty Doubt with a Hump and a Broom

In comes I, old Devilty Doubt
If you don't give me something I'll sweep you all out
'Tis money I want and money I crave
Or I'll sweep all the lot of you into the grave

Enter Turkish Knight

Merry Actors (singing)

The next that comes in is a bold Turkish Knight
From a far distant country he's come for to fight
He'll meet with St. George and will fight with him here
To show him a hero knows nothing to fear

------  chorus -------

The Introducer

Room room brave gallants give us room to sport
For to this room we're wishfull to resort
Resort and to repeat our merry rhyme
Good Sirs remember it's pace-egging-time
The time to go out pace-egging doth once again appear
So we come to act our play before you good folks here
Now that you hear the trumpets sound and hear us beat the drum
Make room make room brave gentlemen and let our actors come

Merry Actors (speaking)

We are the merry actors that travel through the street
We are the merry actors that all fight for our meet
We are the merry actors that show this pleasant play
So stir up the fire and strike a light, then
Step in St. George and clear the way

Enter St. George

St. George

I am St. George of England that noble champion bold
Who with my hands and sword did win three crowns of gold
'Twas I that fought the fiery dragon and brought him to the slaughter
And by those means I also won the King of Egypt's daughter
I've travelled all the world around and around
But a man to equal me never have found
Show me the man that dare before me stand

Turkish Knight

I am Black Prince of Paradise from Africa's land I came
Purpose to fight thee St. George upon this very plain
Of Black Morocco I am King of fiery renown
And with my sword I soon shall fetch thy lofty courage down

St. George

Stand back thou black Morocco dog or by sword thou'lt die
I'll cut thy body in four parts and make thy buttons fly

Turkish Knight

Thou braggart and thou boasting man that is not in thy power
For I'll cut thee into slashes in less than half an hour

St. George

Oh slashing man Oh slashing man don't tell so many lies
For I'll cut thee into slashes as small as any flies
And send thee back across the sea to make into mince pies
Mince pies hot and mince pies cold
I'll send thee to Black Sambo before thou'rt three days old
Stand back thou black Morocco dog and let no more be said
For if I draw my glittering sword I'll surely break thy head

Turkish Knight

How can'st thou break my head
When my head is made of brass and my body made of steel 
My legs and arms are knuckle bone I'll challenge thee to feel

St. George

So So Bold Moor neither boast nor stand
But quickly draw and take thy sword in hand
Let either one or both of us be slain
Before we end and sheathe our swords again

They start fighting

Turkish Knight

(Says whilst falling)

I am a bold and valiant knight and Slasher is my name
Full many battles have I fought and always won the same
But from St George I have received this bloody wound today
Hark Hark The silver trumpets sound I must no longer stay

Enter King of Egypt

King of Egypt

I am the King of Egypt as plainly doth appear
I've come to seek the young Black Prince who is my son and heir
Who is the man who did him slay, his precious blood did spill
Who is it that upon this ground my dearest son did kill

St. George

I did him slay 'twas I that did him kill
And on this ground his precious blood did spill
He challenged me to fight and why should I him deny
Before I would a coward be I'd fight until I die

King of Egypt

Oh George Oh George what hast thou done
Thou's gone and slain my only son
Mine only son mine only heir
How can'st thou see him bleeding there

Mally Brown Bags Masket

A Doctor, A Doctor, Ho Ho, What ho for a doctor

Old Toss Pot

Here I am, a Doctor, but I will not come to thee under ten pounds

King of Egypt

I'll give ten, fifteen, twenty pounds for a Doctor

Old Toss Pot

I am an actor too

King of Egypt

I don't want an actor I want a doctor
Art thou a doctor

Old Toss Pot

I am a Jack of all trades 

Mally Brown Bags Masket

How can'st thou be a Jack of all trades

Old Toss Pot

By my travels

Mally Brown Bags Masket

How far hast thou travelled

Old Toss Pot

I have travelled all up and down the country
                    in this sort of manner and that
I have travelled from my grandmother's bedside 
              to the fireside and from the fireside
To the cupboardside where I have got many a lump of 
                    mouldy cheese and pie crust
Which made me such a rollicking bullocking sort of 
                    a boy as I am

Mally Brown Bags Masket

Is that all

Old Toss Pot

No! I have traveled round Italy Spittally France and Spain
All round England and back again

Mally Brown Bags Masket

Can'st thou cure this poor man

Old Toss Pot

Aye I can cure him as thou shalt quickly see

Mally Brown Bags Masket

What can'st thou cure

Old Toss Pot

I can cure the itch the stitch the palsy and the gout
The plague within and the plague without
And if there be nineteen devils in that man's skull
I'll surely cast twenty of them out

Mally Brown Bags Masket

Is that all

Old Toss Pot

No If you bring me an old woman of eight score eight
Let her chin and her nose be both of a height
I'll make her as pretty as that damsel over there

Points at some girl

Mally Brown Bags Masket

Is that all

Old Toss Pot

No! As I was going through St. Paul's Churchyard
Even the very dead came running after me saying
Doctor Doctor Give me one of your never failing pills
It's a pity that such a man as I should have died  

Mally Brown Bags Masket

Is that all

Old Toss Pot

No! I've got in my pocket spectacles for blind bumble bees
Crutches for lame ducks pack saddles for grasshoppers
And many other useful things

Mally Brown Bags Masket

Is that all

Old Toss Pot

No! I've got a bottle in my inside outside leftside waist-coat pocket
Which my grandmother send me from Spain three days after she died
That will surely bring any dead man back to life again
Why ! I cured Sir Harry of a disease twenty yards long

Kneels down and hands the wounded man a bottle

Here Jack take a drop of this my nip nap
Let it run down thy tip tap
Now if thou art not entirely slain
Rise up and fight again

The Turkish Knight drains the bottle, stands up and shouts

Turkish Knight

Oh my back

Old Toss Pot

What now is amiss with thy back

Turkish Knight

My back is bound my sword is sound
I'll have St George another round

Merry Actors

 
Stop! Stop these words without delay
And fight it out another day

Merry Actors form in a ring and sing

Merry Actors

 
Now ladies and gentlemen that sit around the fire
Put your hands in your pockets that's all we desire
Put your hands in your pockets and pull out your purse
And give us a trifle you'll not feel much worse

Toss Pot then collects the money in his hat and Malley Masket goes round with her basket for eggs. The performers were usually given refreshments and 'Summat to sup'.

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